I have random news. I just started a casual job as a temperature tester at one of Melbourne’s biggest hospitals! Never in my life have I ever thought I’d step my foot in healthcare, even as a casual. I am officially a ✨front-liner✨ in this pandemic, so please send me some flowers and pizzas every now and then.

Starting a new job has always been intimidating for me, especially here in Australia. I remember when I first started working at this Malaysian restaurant as my first official job in Melbourne, I was mentally broken down and cried at the end of most shifts due to the toxic work environment and bullying that I experienced. Being my initial work experience and one of the places where I’ve had my first interactions with people in Melbourne, I think it left a scar. I became anxious every time I have to dip into new activities or social environment. I have worked in a better work environment since, but the anxiety is still there.

Despite meeting great people and seeing a great work culture during the orientation, my scheduled roster stressed me out. I’ve been most worried about my English since I have to accommodate many locals mostly with thick accents. As I’ve mentioned in my previous posts, I am still not 100% confident with my English. This worry then led to further rumination, thinking about the worst scenarios that could happen in case my English mess up. The fact that this is in a professional healthcare setting adds to it because the risk is higher than I’ve ever experienced this far. I was so stressed I watched videos of tips on how to be confident when English is not your first language and had to call some friends the night before my shift.

Interestingly, I realised that this emotional distress made me appreciate my other activities more. I’ve started to enjoy the shifts that I have in my other job more, feeling immense joy at seeing my colleagues and even the customers. This job that I have been doing for two years and where I could work on auto-pilot for a whole day suddenly became a joyful experience once again. I’ve also started to appreciate my social interactions more. The discomfort that I felt stepping into a new environment made me appreciate all the comfort that I have in my life. I have realised that all this time, I have been in my comfort zone so much that my life has actually been more mundane than I thought it was.

I guess that is why people always tell you to get out of your comfort zone. Other than the growth it brings, you also become more receptive and appreciative of the things you take for granted. It’s a tad challenging these days with all this talk about mental health and things having to match your energy (mind you, I am a huge believer in these things), but I guess it’s all about balance. You can’t keep sitting in your ✨energy✨ without tapping into another space that might take you higher in life. And the constant push and pull between comfort and discomfort gives life to life.

I am giving myself a pat on my back for always pushing despite the stress that I’ve felt. Despite feeling anxious at the opportunity to cover shifts, I let my fingers type that message and let my mind just watch on the side (hating me lol). “Work hard, be kind, amazing things will happen”. This quote from Winston Utomo became my mantra every single time. To my surprise, I always ended up giggling silly at the end of every shift. “What the hell did I stress out so much for?” My fears always turned irrational and funny even, and even when some of the anticipated scenarios happened, I could always handle them really well.

All in all, I am sending my gratitude to the universe for this experience and a reminder never to settle in life.