In the past few months leading up to 4 December 2021, I was busy with preparing for my dance company’s End of Year Showcase 2021. It was something I looked forward to since the start of my time in the company two years ago (last year’s one did not happen due to lockdown).

I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to choreograph for the company’s Intermediate Team, consisting of 28 dancers. It was my first time directing a mega team and I’ve had doubts during the process, but I’m glad I decided to just “fuck it” and said yes to it. Supported by the constant faith in me and support from Gina Michael, the director of my dance company, I’ve managed to choreograph the whole three-minute piece in just one week and completed teaching in 4 weeks time. It was pretty hectic given the timeframe, but somehow I’ve managed to do it. In the end, I’ve got a lot of positive feedback from the team themselves, other company members, and the audience. I felt really surprised at what I’ve actually had in me. The experience gave me a massive confidence boost in my creativity, leadership, and directorial capacity. This is all thanks to the amazing and supportive dancers in the team as well, I’ve learnt from them so much during the process. Maybe more than they’ve learnt from me!

Other than this piece, I was also a part of the Advanced Team’s showcase and the opening piece. I’ve had to pull out from the finale piece due to having too much on my plates (three jobs, directing Inter Team, being a part of my friend Reika’s piece, teaching my dance classes, performing in another show the week after, trying to keep up with uni). Was on the verge of breaking down due to being overwhelmed, and finally made a decision to quit one of my jobs and pull out from this trimester at uni. It’s just super stressful. On top of these, I’ve also had a teacher’s showcase to make and do. So yeah, hectic times! But in the end, everything was worth it because it was my last show with the company.

At the end of the show, there was an award for the company members. One of the award was announced for someone who “had a really good work ethic, compassion, charisma, and respected by the other team members”. Not long after, my name was called. I was left speechless. It meant so much to me than any dance award would. Amongst 80+ other team members, I was glad I could radiate such qualities. I remembered last year I’ve had confidence issues with my personality, feeling like I was an awkward person/couldn’t fit in especially due to my English communication skills. I feel in awe every time I realise how far I have grown in the past year.

Thank you, Ascendant Dance Company. Thank you, Gina Michael. Thank you, myself. Thank you, Universe. I feel immensely grateful and content with where I am in life.